An Open Letter...

An open letter to the guy I sat next to last week in ceramics class...

Dear Guy,

I find you to be astoundingly unimpressive. The other day, you jabbered on for several hours about how much you love smoking marijuana, drinking, public intoxication and a host of other immoral behaviors. I was not impressed by your story about how you approached a young, blond-haired girl with dreadlocks at a Lowe's hardware store. You described the encounter by mentioning that the girl was obviously "on her guard", and you found yourself suddenly surrounded by her male coworkers who had gallantly come to her defense. I felt great sadness for the girl who had been approached by you simply because she had dreadlocks and you assumed that she was a toker and you wanted to know if she liked "The Grateful Dead". You were awfully proud that you had become "that guy". The guy who is suddenly old, shameless and is known to hit on younger girls. Although you claim to not have been hitting on the girl, your "friendliness" in assuming she would be eager to talk to a strange old man about her assumed drug habits may not have been as well received as you thought.

I also feel it necessary to wonder how old you think you are. Although you appear to be in your late 40s, your demeanor would suggest that you are much closer to 13. I am unimpressed by your tales of bar hoping, throwing up in the drawer of your nightstand and attending wild parties in order to pick up on "chicks". Am I supposed to be happy for a man who is in denial about his age and responsibilities to his wife and children? Am I supposed to respect a father who sets such a poor example for his 10-year-old daughter? I think not!

I am especially disgusted by your candor in sharing about how, when you were in your early twenties, you "hooked up" with a woman at a party who was in her 40s, married and who had a daughter your age. Not exactly something to brag about, sir. You're sick. You are what's wrong with our society.

Although it may be too late, I sincerely hope that you will try a little harder to be a better father for your children. At the very least, please do not share any of your "Pearls of Wisdom" with them.

Best of luck to you,
Jamie

P.S. Please don't ask to borrow any of my tools. You're gross.